This Week In Hollywood
Article by Hope Alexander
May 06 2007. Article viewed 2643 times.
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It´s been another huge week in Hollywood, perhaps a little huger than most even. The top story of the week would have to undoubtedly be Paris finally getting her dues and being handed down a 45 day jail sentence for driving on a suspended license, and not having enough creativity in her entire highly paid legal team to come up with something better than “I didn´t know.”
Paris reportedly cried and said that she was sorry over and over again, however it was all a little too late, she had managed to put the judge in an ass kicking mood, possibly by turning up 18 minutes late to the proceeding just to begin with. Nice one Paris, piss off the guy who holds your freedom in his hands by disrespecting him, that´s always a good idea.
Read more right here
In slightly less than great news, Britney has started performing again, though by the sounds of things you shouldn´t be getting too excited about it, according to people who paid far too much for their tickets Britney just lip synced her way through most of the songs whilst chewing gum and staring vacantly up into the ceiling. Photographs showing the performances reveal them be utterly devoid of any form of set, unless you count the chair, which I don´t. There are villages in Africa who have more highly developed dramatic props. With the lack of atmosphere all you´re left with is a drugged out plasticized mommy who barely knows why she´s even there. It may be time for Britney to just toss off that wig and go with the hard rock theme, at least then if she freaks out in the middle of a performance and tries to bite audience members it will just be hardcore.
Read more right here and read some more here
In other Britney news, she apparently likes to go to friend´s houses, strip off, and pose with flowers and stupid hats. Once again, these would probably have been improved by loosing the wig and hat and letting her bald head out to play.
Check out the topless pictures right here
Internationally there was quite a scandal this week when fundamentalist Indians pressed charges against Richard Gere for kissing Shilpa Shetty on the cheek repetitively, saying that doing such a thing transgressed all limits of vulgarity. What can I say, those guys need to get laid, their repressed horniness is transgressing all limits of sanity. Read more
Those were the big stories this week, earth shattering, world redefining events they were too. Of course there were smaller events, like Tyra dining and dashing, and unlike Paris, actually getting away with the “I didn´t know” defense, so nice work Tyra!
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Hold on to your hats, next week is set to be a big one too. I´m predicting Paris making a run for the border, and Britney biting the head off a pigeon either in “concert” or just her backyard.
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