This week in Hollywood
Article by Hope Alexander
May 23 2007. Article viewed 4857 times.
Rating: 2 |
Add to favorites | Comment on article
I like to give every week a theme, but some weeks just theme themselves. This was one of those weeks, so without further ado, welcome to the week of the failure!
Paris gave up her appeal this week, deciding to accept her fate of 23 days in jail over her “but really, I DIDN´T KNOW!!” appeal. She´s being spared most of the horrors of jail due to her special cell arrangements, which mean she won´t come in contact with the unwashed masses. None the less, she is learning herself some self defense techniques which might come in handy for the one hour per day she actually has out of her cell... Show me more
This was after she begged off another trial, failing to be of sound mind due to her 45 day jail sentence, apparently Paris´ fragile little mind just couldn´t handle all the reality crashing down at once. I feel you Paris, I was crushed for months when I found out that I would get in trouble for hitting stupid people with baseball bats, can someone tell me why that isn´t legal?
Show me more
Britney sent us all a crazy message, totally fucked up a performance by lip syncing whilst the track skipped, and then demanded to be let off a plane ten minutes after the doors had closed because ´it didn´t have leather seats´. Show me more That´s right, this week, Britney has completely failed to behave in a remotely sane fashion, yet people still go to see her perform. This has to be kind of like visiting a loved one in hospital who has gone completely senile. You do it because you love them, but its incredibly sad, like a dog who has wheels for back legs or something, the analogies just go on and on... Show me more
Jessica Simpson´s relationship failed, and she broke up with John Mayer. This may have been one of those inevitable break ups, after all such massive differences between two people are hard to reconcile. I have seen pigs suckling tiger cubs, and those two animals made a more likely paring than Jess and John... Show me more
Cameron Diaz´s clothes managed to fail her on the Ellen DeGeneres show, causing her to slip her nipple right in front of Ellen. It is nice to see someone besides Britney´s nipples for once. Vive la wardrobe malfunction!
Show me more
Every week has a winner though, and this week the clear winner was “Mini Britney”, a little person who rocks the Britney look like Britney herself can only hope to. Hmm, perhaps something for Britney to reflect on. After all, what does it say about your life when a midget impersonator is doing a better job of being you than you are? Show me more
A special mention must also go to Lindsay Lohan for managing to get the Editors at Maxim Magazine high enough to vote her hottest woman of 2007. Mini Britney would have won if only they´d known about her... Show me more
That´s another week folks, stand by for more celebrity insanity in the coming days. There is always more where that came from.
 |
Rate this article
1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6
|
 |
|
