Sex Advice From People Who Know
Article by Hope Alexander
July 05 2007. Article viewed 8283 times.
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If you canīt get laid, it is probably because youīre doing something wrong. Donīt be like the poor workman who blames his tools for the fact that they wonīt go down on him, be proactive like the diver who decides he doesnīt need a shark cage. Follow in the steps of the people you know are getting some of that hardcore action.
There are some people in this world getting a lot more tail than others. You can learn from them, study their ways, and in time, enjoy the same success they have. In an in depth, very scientific sort of study I have discovered the secrets to acheiving a much higher hot sex quotient. Based on results derived from volume of progeny, here are some apparently foolproof ways to get you some ass:
Mom = Hot Sex
India has one of the fastest growing populations in the world, which means a LOT of people in India are getting laid, sometimes several times per day. This is directly related to the fact that their mothers arrange their partners for them. What are you waiting for? Call your mom and get laid today.
Religious Fanaticism = Hot Sex
Sure, they might wear long dresses and cover their skin up as if one glance could make a man burst into flames, and the men may look like ewoks with their wild preponderance of facial hair, but the extremely religiously inclined make rabbits look restrained in their breeding.
For men, just remember if sheīs crazy enough to believe that an invisible sky king is keeping tabs of everything she does, sheīll probably believe that she should ingest your sacred god given man juice too. Thereīs probably a passage in the bible somewhere about it.
For women, you canīt go past a zealot for a passion filled time. Sure, he might beat you for baring your arms to an unmarried man, but you can guarantee heīll be like an energizer bunny in the sack. Life is all about trade offs and compromises after all.
Famine = Hot Sex
Okay, even I feel a little bad about this one, but come on, Iīve been seeing those īsave the starving childrenī advertisements on televsion since I was a child, and it just doesnīt make sense as to how there could still be babies starving in famine ridden countries if people were doing what would seem to be the obvious thing, and not having sex.
I donīt know what it is about starving in a dust bowl with barely enough food to make it through the day that turns people on, but by the proliferation of children and the spread of venereal disease, it would seem that famine is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs of all time.
Mmmmm. Famine.
Communism = Hot Sex
Nothing gets people hot and ready for some good hard loving than a totalitarian regime in which everyone is equal and no-one is free. So what if the state seized your house and made you go plough turnips on a farm even though youīre actually an astrophysicist? And sure, wearing clothes made of sack cloth can be a little chafing, but all the discomfort of your new life is going to fade into nothingness as you get your share of sweet sweet communist loving, most likely from the girl who was assigned to you by the state. Itīs your duty to procreate you know, and while enjoyment is not strictly encouraged, they canīt very well stop you liking it, can they?
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