This Week In Hollywood
Article by Hope Alexander
July 17 2007. Article viewed 5103 times.
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It´s been a week of nipples and ass, as per usual really. Was Hollywood always this slutty? Or has something happened in the last few years? I´m pretty sure that back in the day, Marilyn Monroe managed to keep her breasts inside her dress at least 99% of the time. Ah well, I guess we´re all going to have to keep looking at nipples and suchlike..
In the case of Bai Ling, those nipples are, well, HUGE. It´s almost like she took the nipples from some other species of animal and had them glued to her chest. Seriously, I am not sure science has an explanation for how her nipples came to be this large, and this erect all the time.
Crazy Britney had yet another crazy week. This week put her house on the market and moved into a hotel, and got caught sneaking alcohol, which is weird because she has always protested that she doesn´t have an alcohol problem. If she doesn´t have a problem, then why sneak it? The logic is somewhat obscure, but it is probably in there somewhere, along with the logic that tells her never to wear bras anymore. So by logic, I mean ´dirty brain hijacking alien life form´.
She also did something really weird to her hair. No-one is quite sure whether these are attempted dreads, or a wig she left out in the rain by accident, but what we do know for sure is that Britney really doesn´t give a toss what anyone else thinks. This girl dresses with all the enthusiasm of a toddler in her stripper mom´s closet.
Kim Kardashian´s ass grew even more...Well, at least it certainly seems to have done. Some people are saying ass implants. I´m saying a few dozen cheeseburgers and a really tight dress.
Lindsay Lohan turned out to be a lesbian, or at least, turned out to have pretended to be a lesbian in her lover laden communications with DJ friend, Samantha Ronson. Although it is rumored that Ronson supplements her DJ income by selling stories about Lindsay to the media, Lindsay none the less apparently wants to have babies with her. Weird. Very Weird.
Fergie put in a stripper pole this week, because well, she´s sexy ain´t she? And what self respecting woman doesn´t want the trappings of a strip joint in her own home?
Dita Von Teese spoke out about her desire to find a guy who is just a little kinky. She´s sick of all the perverted men who date her, she´d just like a guy who is into a little light bondage and spankings. Nice. It also turns out that you might be able to purchase a pair of her worn and used stockings. Extra nice.
Keep it tuned to Hollywood people! You NEVER know what these crazy sexy ladies are going to come up with next.
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