This Week In Hollywood
Article by Hope Alexander
August 27 2007. Article viewed 5235 times.
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It was a week of celebrity justice this week in Celebrityland, as Lindsay, Nicole, and Foxy Brown all faced their comeuppances. You wonīt be particularly surprised to find out that whatever vortex of weird reality was kicking in around the time of Parisī sentencing is well and truly gone now. In fact, Parisī sentence was such an anomaly, I am beginning to think it might have actually been a publicity building set up. Then again, Iīm cynical. Sue me.
First up on the celebrity justice stand was Lindsay Lohan who for being done for DUIīs twice, and coke possession twice, got a whopping day in jail. Thatīs right, one whole day. Of course she has to go to a couple of drug and alcohol rehab programs, and do a grueling week and a half of community service, but still, a day? Oh yes, thatīs what happens when youīre Lindsay. Show me
And if you were wondering how long Lindsay will actually spend in jail, just check out how Nicoleīs 4 day sentence went down. Nicole Richie checked into the slammer dutifully, and was then released after a whole 82 minutes. I would say 82 minutes ībehind barsī, but there are severe doubts as to whether or not Nicole saw the inside of a jail cell. According to the Sherrifīs Department, thatīs just how they do things in California, where jail sentences donīt mean diddly squat if youīve clocked more than 5 television hours in the past year. Show me
Foxy Brown actually is behind bars after breaking her parole and being caught in New Jersey. Home girl picked the wrong state to get caught in. Her latest crime involved assault on a neighbor with a BlackBerry, which I think we can all agree, is pretty heinous. How many people die in BlackBerry related incidents vs DUIīs every year? Oh well, I guess itīs not how potentially lethal what you did is, itīs how famous and maybe even white you are. (Oh yeah, I went there.) Show me
Jenna Jameson also hit the headlines this week, but not for anything criminal, unless you think that a woman remove her breast implants and go back to a normal size breast is criminal, (personally Iīm on the fence on this issue, but I think the courts should take a closer look.) Show me
Jenna is very happy to have removed her implants and quit porn, which is nice, but doesnīt explain why she looks like a duck now. Show me
Britney kept her clothes on this week, but allegedly unleashed a single upon the world. Her record company is denying that it is her work, but it has the crazy marks of Britney all over it, and it sounds a lot like her too. The hideous and juvenile lyrics can be found through the link-hole: Show me
And finally, in kick ass style, I shall leave you with the further trials and tribulations of Amy Winehouse, who totally kicked her husbandīs ass in a public fight they had this week:
Show me
Sheīs crazy hardcore, and hangs out with hookers, just like Jesus did.
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