This Week In Hollywood
Article by Hope Alexander
September 05 2007. Article viewed 7923 times.
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Welcome to another week in Hollywood. It´s been exciting and scanadlicious as always, and our girl Britney has been working hard to ensure that she stays in the headlines by any means necessary, flashing her ass and leaking dirty songs onto the Internet like crazy, which ironically, she probably is. Oh, and Paris is back, and she´s brought her nipples with her!
You´ll definitely want to be checking out Britney´s new album if some of her alleged lyrics are anything to go by. Is that a reference to cock sucking I see?
Mind you, merely leaking dirty songs is a definite improvement on all the weeks where she leaked other things, oh no, wait, here is her almost completely BARE ASS!
This girl is on one hell of a roll...
If you´re a Courney Love fan, then you might enjoy these semi naked pictures of her, which were adventurously taken by Harpers Bazaar magazine.
If you´re really a super huge fan, then you might also enjoy reading her opinions on out of control Hollywood celebrities, and if you´re a really really really super huge fan, then you might also enjoy doing it whilst smashing your nuts in a vice. Just a tip.
Jessica Alba revealed that she knows what the pain of rejection is, due to the fact that some dorkus kid didn´t pick her for baseball when she was eight years old, and that´s AFTER she kissed him! Bastard! On the upside, he has provided for quite an inspirational story for ugly kiddies who feel bad about themselves.
In some pretty sad news, Owen Wilson tried to off himself this week. The reasons are not clear, but any relation to drugs is being denied.
For no apparent reason, the paparazzi made a mad dash for Mary Kate Olsen, and gave her a slight head wounding. Whether this was the work of Zombie Queen hunters or not is yet unclear.
Criss Angel turned out to be a complete asstard, and to have perhaps nailed Britney Spears on the first date! The exclamation mark is probably misplaced because it is highly likely that Britney would do anyone on a first date, but still, I don´t know that it is entirely ethical to sleep with someone who looks this damn out of it. Whether this story is true or not is totally debatable, but no matter what the story, that Criss, he is definitely one evile magician. Also available here, a pseudo Brit up skirt! Hurrah!
We almost made it for two weeks without Paris, but unfortunately the German version of GQ magazine decided to do a topless shoot with her where she dons a diaper and defiles a teddy bear, well, that´s my take on it anyway.
That´s it for another week kids, more tits and ass next week, unless Britney and Paris catch a cold or something.
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