Side Effects May Include
Article by Hope Alexander
September 16 2007. Article viewed 4926 times.
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Sleeping Pills, Side Effects May Include, Drowsyness, Dizziness, and Disorientation. Iīm glad they told me that, because otherwise its possible I would have been really concerned if I took the sleeping pill and started to feel drowsy.
Television advertisements list side effects, but the rest of the living experience seems to come list free. Itīs just not good enough, and we deserve better dammit. We deserve to know all the consequences, ramifications, we deserve to know whats coming.
The legal world has been big on side effects a lot in the last decade or so. People got to sue companies for selling them cigarettes that killed them, and got really mad at fast food restaurants for making them fat, and you know what, fair enough. But if a plastic bag has to tell me that I shouldnīt tie it around my head, then everything and everyone else should keep me fully informed also.
If I meet someone new, and it looks like I could form a friendship with them, I want them to give me a full list of possible side effects. It could include things like obnoxious racial jokes, occasional offensive odor, regular messy breakups which result in running from angry exes in public places, many of whom wish to kill the charming individual. If only someone else would take away the responsibility of having to judge character, or be careful.
Life would run so smoothly, and its not like we no longer have the technology. The government has us all micro chipped anyways, lets just add a little more data to those things. Sure, plenty of information is available about people on line, but thatīs mostly for the benefit of corporations that want your money. I donīt give a damn about your credit rating, but I do want to know if youīre going to spike my drink and sell me into the white slave trade. That loopy look in your eyes tells me nothing.
Stats, thats what we need, statistics, numbers, side effects, we need to KNOW more. Why is that? Because weīre fucking stupid. Weīre not just stupid on the primary level of stupid, which is where you donīt recognize danger. Weīre stupid on a whole other level. We know that things are bad, and yet we do them anyway. The real reason why we need warnings is so Stupid Person A canīt blame Stupid Person B.
You already know that sucking on something that is on fire and inhaling into your body canīt be good for you. Surely basic instinct tells you that. If the smoking fails to turn you off on a purely conceptual level, doesnīt the fact that you choke and gag like someone dying of pneumonia when you smoke those first several cigarettes tell you anything? No?
How the fuck we got this far in the evolutionary process without being able to avoid things that will kill us is beyond me. We even eat ourselves to death. Yes, thatīs right, we manage to fuck up one of the only basic systems of supporting life weīre consciously in control of. Mother Nature, in her wisdom, chose not to burden us with remembering to breathe, or keeping our pancreas functioning, but she did leave us with a little something, probably so we wouldnīt be bored.
And then some of us fuck that up. What the hell is up with that? Surely you realize when you can no longer see your own feet, that walking to the front door makes you breathless, and that there are more Xīs on your clothing labels than a porno film, that its time to cut back a little? We can all understand being a little fat, hey, what the hell, you like chocolates and McBurgers, but thereīs just no reason why on earth youīd blow up like a blimp and not just kill yourself outright.
Perhaps supermarkets and all food outlets need to warn customers when they enter the doors. Eating too much food will make you fat, retards. If you are putting on weight, eat less food. It doesnīt fucking matter what your body chemistry is, or how fucking slow your metabolism runs, if you donīt eat the food, you canīt get fat. You will NOT, repeat NOT get fat just by breathing.
But we donīt do that. We have to be understanding, and tolerant, and nice about every retardation that people choose to pursue. We have to be tolerant because we all remember that time when no-one else was around and we used a fork to get the toast out of the toaster because we knew we were going to be really careful not to touch the metal parts inside it.
We need warnings, so time for the most comprehensive warning label I can think of.
Life. Side effects may include stupidity.
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