This Week In Hollywood
Article by Hope Alexander
September 24 2007. Article viewed 7500 times.
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Another exciting and action packed week in Hollywood this week folks!That is, if you were Britney Spears. Once again, the gossip waves have been simply clogged to bursting with Britney related news. So in order to give you a little break from it, letīs start off with some news of real hotness, and that would be the prospect of seeing Kim Kardashian butt naked in Playboy this December...
Oh yes, you heard me right. Kim has posed nude for Playboy, and while you might only be seeing her bare butt and one boob, that has to be better than nothing, right? You can be sure the fine airbrushers at playboy have taken all the necessary steps to ensure that Kim remains the fantasy girl she seems to be, so check out the massive twelve page spread this December...
And now, onto the never ending saga that the Britney Spears story has become. This week the lovely Britney managed to all but loose custody of her children due to a secret witness who testified and told the court about her drug binging ways, her near overdoses, and the fact that she gets high and drunk around her kids all the time..
The judge did cut Britney some slack however, saying that if she submitted to random bi weekly drug tests and attended parenting classes 8 hours a week, she could keep partial custody of her kids...
Britney of course, took this advice totally to heart, and went out partying every night after the decision. Methinks that she is not going to be passing many drug tests any time soon.
And if all that wasnīt enough for poor Britney, she was also charged with a hit and run, whereupon it turned out that she has never been issued a driverīs license in California. The girl has been flagrantly breaking the law for years, and nobody noticed until now. Interesting.
To lighten the mood somewhat, Islamic militants also weighed in with their say on Britney. As you can imagine, theyīre not very happy. The leader of a Pakistani terrorist group even went so far as to say: If I meet these whores I will have the honor -- I repeat, I will have the honor -- to be the first one to cut the heads off Madonna and Britney Spears if they will keep spreading their Satanic culture against Islam...If these two prostitutes keep doing what they are doing, we will of course punish them.ī
Thatīs all the Britney news Iīm going to cover this week, believe it or not, Iīm actually cutting a lot of it out, purely to save the sanity of our dear readers, because itīs highly likely that if we have to hear more about Britney, well someone is going to chew their arm off out of sheer frustration, and try and beat her to death with it, and we donīt want that.
So, to other news, Amy Winehouse pretended to be Britney Spears (it seems no matter what we do, the curse of Britney is hard to escape) and completely screwed up a performance at an awards show, where she forgot the words, and stumbled and mumbled through the set. If you want an idea of how bad this thing was, think Britneyīs VMA performance, and make it about 100 times worse.
Enough! Enough I say, we have all suffered greatly through the mindless antics of the once were hot starlets, let us pray this week to the gods of nudity, that we shall have more stimulating subjects over which to drool in the week ahead.
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