All I needed to know, I learned from Britney Spears
Article by Hope Alexander
October 02 2007. Article viewed 12891 times.
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They say that every young person should have a role model, someone to look up to, someone they really respect and can model their lives on. Britney Spears is one of the most successful young musicians in the world today, in spite of the fact that she is clearly quite mad. Her actions have been portrayed as irresponsibly, crazy, slutty, and in various other negative ways, but I think that people are just being wet blankets. Look at the girl, sheīs really expressing her craziness, unlike most of us who learn to hide it behind a veneer of social acceptability. Britney has been through a lot, and I think that there is a lot that we can all learn from her. I know that sheīs taught me a lot personally, and I want to share those lessons with you all.
Clothes DONīT Have To Fit
Thatīs right yīall, it is perfectly okay if your dress doesnīt cover your butt cheeks. People like to see butt cheeks anyway, it brightens their day and it gives their dodgy Internet searches some meaning. Thereīs really no reason to cover up, even if you have had two children. Remember, cellulite adds character.
Hair? Who Needs Hair?
Come on, how many times have you wanted to shave yourself bald but lacked the courage to do it? Britney sure has balls (well metaphorically anyway, we can be pretty sure that weīd have seen some sign of them by now if she did have balls, Britney sure isnīt shy about her genitalia.) If you want to shave, shave.
SUVīs Are Evil
They guzzle gas, theyīre bad for the environment, and if one hits you whilst youīre driving anything other than a tank, then youīre dead. Britney took a symbolic stand against SUVīs, a stand that was misinterpreted by most of the media, but just look at the focused rage in her eyes. She knows what sheīs doing. Spreading the message man, itīs beautiful.
Custody Schmustody
Just because you bear children into the world, doesnīt mean you have to look after them necessarily. As long as you have a lot of money, a greedy ex, and a team of skilled child care workers at your beck and call, well, you can do whatever you please. Children are great though, they have a lot of accessories that you can use too, just like live versions of dolls. I gotta get me a pacifier.
Modesty Is Wrong
Many people keep their genitals covered, but not Britney Spears. Sheīs more than happy to share everything sheīs got with the world. Some people say that she just forgets to wear panties because sheīs so crazy wasted off her face, but I think itīs a deeply political statement. Maybe, just maybe we will all be able to be entirely naked, all the time. Britney has a dream, and Iīm dreaming it too.
Performing Is For Monkeys
There was a great deal of controversy over the VMA performance where Britney simply mouthed some of the words to the song whilst wandering around the stage in a kind of daze, but I think those people just didnīt understand what they were seeing. Again, this was a statement against the pressure we all feel to perform in our daily lives. Next time you go to work, donīt work, just get high and wander around from cubicle to cubicle in your underwear. Imagine how much better work would be if we all did that.
Thatīs just some of what we can learn from Britney. Iīm betting that she is going to teach us all a lot more before she is through. So you haters, just leave Britney alone okay, leave her alone, because every time youīre mean to her, you make a little gay boy cry.
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