This Week In Hollywood
Article by Hope Alexander
October 15 2007. Article viewed 14475 times.
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This was another classic week in Hollywood, and when I say classic, I mean it in the new sense of the word, which means that it was yet another Britney dominated week. Once again, Britney´s privates made bids for freedom, and we partially successful. I´d be surprised, but then again, she has an album being released at the end of October, so I guess all the pussy flashing and tit teasing probably has some sort of commercial purpose as well. Does that make her a whore officially?
That´s probably a bit harsh, because Britney has had a big, hard week, but as with all things that are big and hard, she took it like a champ. Just look at everything she had to deal with:
A ´crazy lady´ attacked Britney Spears this week, screaming at her that she had ruined the neighborhood and made it unsafe and that nobody wanted her there. None of that really sounds all that ´crazy´ to me, but I guess it was the screaming and the flailing arms that earned her that title. Don´t worry about Britney though, she is totally fine, her sister, Jamie Lynn was there to scream obscenities back at the woman and fend her off.
Britney also managed several up skirts this week, in between ´fighting´ for custody of her kids. I say ´fighting´ because when she tried to get overnight visits with her kids, she once again didn´t actually bother to show up to the hearing. When it looked like the judge was going to refuse, Britney actually dragged her ass out of bed and asked him herself. She got one day a week.
And here´s the big one.. the pussy flash. That´s right, in spite of the fact that the tabloids and gossip columns are pretty much full of nothing else, Britney felt that what she needed to do was go out in a dress that didn´t cover her ass, or pussy, and just barely managed to cover her tits due to the fact that she unbuttoned the middle of it. Such class.
And in the news from other celebrities who for some reason aren´t as attention hungry as Spears:
Lily Allen turned out to have a pretty interesting and colorful life story with revelations that she was used as a drug pusher´s prop by her father. Apparently he found that he sold a lot more drugs to people at concerts when he bought along a small child. It seems kind of counter intuitive, but who am I to argue with a drug pushing professional?
Victoria Beckham attended a weapons summit in France where she demonstrated the awesome power of her triple titanium nipples. I kid, she just stood around in front of the Louvre looking freaky and inhuman.
Michelle Rodriguez got sentenced to six months in jail because she is bad ass. That´s right. She didn´t just ignore her parole conditions, she violated them with a 12´´ dildo I hear. That´s going to be good practice for her new jail bird lifestyle that she has to look forward to.
Orlando Bloom gets a rare mention for the males this week, but only because he´s a total pussy. He crashed his vehicle into a parked car (real smart guy huh), then ran off leaving two women in the car, one bleeding and injured. What a guy.
Check back for more Hollyexcitement next week!
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