Kim Kardashian The Conqueror
Article by Hope Alexander
November 01 2007. Article viewed 39945 times.
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Kim Kardashian is just so hot right now. She´s so hot that it´s hard to turn around without seeing her ass plastered across the nearest website, billboard, or in my case, fridge door. In a series of impressive moves, Kim has managed in a few small months to gain what took Paris Hilton several years. Her meteoric rise to fame will probably one day be studied by publicists and perhaps even politicians everywhere as a model of the most successful publicity campaign ever.
The vast majority of us however, are content to simply sit back and enjoy the fruits of Kim´s labors. Thanks to Kim, we can get a fix anywhere, any time. Feeling bored? Look up the latest Kim gossip on line. Feeling horny? Pop in her sex tape. Feeling like melting your brain? Watch her reality television show ´Keeping Up With The Kardashians´.
How did she manage it though? How did she so ruthlessly and effectively come to dominate the airwaves? Well for those of you looking for a strategy guide to rival Sun Tzu´s ´The Art of War´, or Niccolo Machiavelli´s ´The Prince´, here´s how it all happened....
Hanging Out With Paris, The Formative Months
Kim started hanging out with Paris months before anyone had ever heard of her. Perhaps this was a genuine friendship based on the fact that they are both shallow as all hell and talk like they are still ten years old, or maybe it was a little more calculated than that. I chose to believe that these were the opening moves in a massive slutty chess game the size of Hollywood.
Breaking Onto The Scene - The Sex Tape
Once people had started noticing Kim in the pictures with Paris, and asking themselves and one another who that hot brunette was, the stage was set for the sex tape. The sex tape had to be raw, edgy, and Kim certainly delivered all that and more. Her relationship with Vivid Entertainment (the distributors of the aforementioned sex tape) may have even earned her the money to have additional ass implants, something which Kim denies vehemently. However can nature alone account for that ass? I think not.
Gaining A Foothold In Every Home In The Land - ´Keeping Up With The Kardashians´
´Keeping Up With The Kardashians´ is/was a reality show that Kim and her family thought would clear up misconceptions that the general public was supposed to hold about them. Unfortunately the incredible vapidness and almost unbridled sluttery which abounded on screen only served to confirm public opinion, not that the public really cared that much in the first place. The fact that they even agreed to such a stupid show title (which can only be interpreted as the Kardashians thinking that they are something to aspire to) just goes to show how clueless they really are. The fact that they effectively pimp out the younger children as well as the older slutty ones is pretty messed up too. Still, you have to start early if you want stardom, and sometimes you have to sacrifice a few small children along the way. It happens.
Keep ´Em Coming Back For More – The Playboy Shoot
Now that Kim had gained notoriety on a massive scale, the bigger publications were knocking on her door. Kim´s Playboy Photo shoot was a little tame, and a little lame. Sure, you could see a little bit of nipple in one picture, and her whole ass in another. But for some reason, bared and positioned the way it was, it didn´t really look all that impressive. Did the photographer perhaps forget that we like Kim almost solely because her ass looks like it could cushion an asteroid strike? This could have been a fatal flaw in the Kim Kardashian plan for world domination, or perhaps she just wanted us to be hanging out for more. That evil minx!
Stay tuned guys, this campaign could yet result in the first female President of the USA. Sure it seems like a long shot now, but stranger things have happened.
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