This Week In Hollywood
Article by Hope Alexander
November 05 2007. Article viewed 22560 times.
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We really might as well call this the Britney round up. The way things have been going in Hollywood recently, you would be more than forgiven for thinking that Los Angeles was merely a big concrete playground dotted with Starbucks outlets where Britney Spears drives around, exposes herself, and occasionally hits the odd pedestrian or two. However there is apparently life outside Britney in Hollywood. Thatīs how the rumor goes anyway, Iīm not sure I believe it entirely.
So what did Britney get up to this week? Well, she got in a spot of trouble for running over an officerīs foot as she left the courthouse after the judge found her to be unfit to have any more than the limited visitation that she has with her children at present. Britney sure showed him.
In other Britney news, there are claims that she took a bunch of strangers back to her house after she failed to regain custody, stripped down to her underwear, and allowed some guy to snort cocaine off her chest as she relaxed in the jacuzzi.
Britney may also be pregnant, due to the fact that she is unable to manage to take the birth control specially designed for immature, out of control, slutty types. She kept skipping her Depo Provera injections, and apparently couldnīt manage to take the pill regularly either. Her friends are concerned that with all the casual sex sheīs apparently having, she may end up pregnant sooner rather than later.
Oh yeah, and there was another up skirt on the way, just in time for Halloween, so thanks for that Britney. I was beginning to miss the sight of her upper thighs spread akimbo as she lurched around like some sort of drunken sea mammal beached on the shore. As much as that description might sound like a sex tape, thatīs really just Britney getting out of a car.
And in even MORE Britney news, her ex assistant spoke to the press this week, saying that Britney never wanted to divorce Kevin Federline, and that the whole affair was simply a fight gone wrong. Apparently Britney was wildly in love with Kevin, and is now going crazy from the effects of a broken heart. This may be true, but how does it explain her allegedly drinking vodka and then breast feeding her baby?
Just to be completely different, and end the week on a high note. Iīll wrap this baby up with a word from your favorite Governor of California, Arnie, who rocked the boat this week by speaking out about drugs, saying: âMarijuana is not a drug. Itīs a leaf.â
Thank God for men like Arnie running California. Imagine how crazy things would get if there was someone in charge who didnīt understand a need for drug experimentation and constant self medication.
Check back next week people, who knows, maybe someone besides Britney will have made the headlines.
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