Breaking shit is fun, itīs even sexy if you do it right. Thereīs been a lot of focus on peace lately, how to get it, why we should give it a chance, all of that happy clappy talk. Peace is all very well and good in its proper place and time, but too much emphasis on it can lead to a certain yippy skippy, happy clappy attitude that completely ignores the darker side of man. Deny it all you like, peaceniks, but we all know that that the drive to break things is part of manīs unique psyche that means sometimes you just want to fuck shit up.
Letīs be honest, who wouldnīt want to be in the wrecking business? Sure, you might be an accountant because it makes more money than driving a wrecking ball, and a suit gets a lot more attention from the ladies than a beer belly and hairy legs in shorts do, but secretly, underneath it all, is there really a man, woman, or child among us that doesnīt want to plant charges in a large old abandoned building and just blow the hell out of it? (Note how I said old, and abandoned. Not relatively new and occupied. As much fun as destruction is, terrorism is definitely not sexy. It is possibly the least sexy thing on the planet, even less sexy than that homeless guy on the corner who pees himself every five minutes and pukes uncontrollably from trying to drink meths.)
Good clean destruction is a joy to the mind and the spirit. It can clear the way for new paths, new buildings, new vistas, or it can be a strong counter culture statement, like the infamous iPhone in a blender video that swept the Internet with itīs flagrant disregard for the expensive consumer technology that held the world in thrall for at least a week or two.
If you prefer your destruction on a larger scale, how about watching the second largest building ever being imploded? Check out the sheer glee from the onlookers as this 30 story building crumbles down in a roaring mass of smoke and rubble. There is no greater rush than building a tower up high, high, high as you can go, then knocking that s.o.b down like a giant rabid gorilla.
Perhaps you like your destruction and crushing to be sexy? Watch this poor lowly fax machine be overcome by the application of the harsh stiletto of steel. I would launch into a longer commentary about the psycho sexual reasons that people enjoy watching women crush things beneath their delicately pointy foot apparel, but to be honest, itīs probably more entertaining not to.
Now that youīve had time to review the various examples of wanton destruction that have been presented to you, see if you can derive the scientific formula that behavioral scientists have been working on for many years. Itīs almost poetic in itīs simplicity, and unlike all those other pesky scientific formulas that youīll never use, this one has a real solid application in every day life.
Not familiar with scientific terms? Iīll make it simple and just give it to you.
Fucking shit up = Awesome.
(DISCLAIMER: This doesnīt apply to other peopleīs shit. Breaking other peopleīs shit just makes you a douche bag, and might possibly land you in jail, where some guy bigger than you might introduce you to a whole new way of breaking shit, a way that you will almost definitely not find awesome.)
