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25 Signs Youīre A Porn Freak
Article by Hope Alexander
January 02 2008. Article viewed 17301 times.
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Shockingly enough, there is such a thing as too much porn. Your personal porn limit isnīt determined not by how much porn you watch however, but by how much it warps your perception of reality. Here are some signs that may indicate youīve watched a little too much porn and you should perhaps get out of the house more and, hell, touch a real girl.
1. You think that when women have sex and theyīre enjoying it they always make eye contact with you and go OOOOooooo, whilst licking their lips in a luscious sort of way.
2. 80īs synthesiser music makes you get an instant erection.
3. Women you see in real life just donīt do it for you anymore, even the ones you used to find cute.
4. A triple F cup seems like a reasonable bra size for a woman to have.
5. You think thereīs nothing a girl likes better than being flipped onto her head and banged upside down.
6. You canīt understand why the women you meet in day to day life donīt try to seduce you on their office desks, in alleways, or in public places hidden behind a bush.
7. Youīve never actually touched a woman between her neck and knees, but you think you have an impressive arsenal of sex tricks at your disposal anyway.
8. Every time youīre stopped by a female cop you get a little excited thinking that this could end up with you both in the backseat of the cruiser whilst she teaches you a good lesson.
9. You think all women consider it a compliment if you come on their face.
10. You think all women are lesbians just waiting to get with another woman, yet will also be more than happy to have your penis at the party.
11. You donīt touch your wife or girlfriend anymore, preferring to spend time with your webcam girls online.
12. You think that whenever girls get together in groups of two or more they immediately strip down to their panties and that lesbian sex inevitably takes place.
13. You canīt understand why your wife or girlfriend doesnīt find it sexy when you try and bend her into weird positions that only a yoga master could manage.
14. Youīre happy to get porn spam emails.
15. You feel you have a special connection to one or more porn stars, even though youīve never met any of them.
16. You wonder why your cum isnīt thick and stringy and capable of covering a womanīs entire face in one load. You seek medical attention for this problem.
17. The words cream and pie donīt signify food to you anymore.
18. Your day isnīt complete without a porn clip or two.
19. You snort with laughter when you visit the camel at the zoo.
20. You think all women love group sex, and swapping cum with other ladies. In fact, thatīs probably what they talk about when they get together on their girly days off.
21. Youīre running out of online free porn archives that you havenīt seen before.
22. You start losing your sense of shame when hiring porn from your video store, and even try to draw the store assistant into a discussion of the relative merits of various porn stars.
23. The porn clips that porn people even label bizzare donīt seem so strange to you at all.
24. You have to hire extra storage space for your porn collection.
25. You think that it is perfectly resonable to try and fit two penises in one orifice, in fact, itīs even a little boring if there arenīt at least two there.
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