10 Ways To Break Up With Your Girl
Article by Magamba
January 18 2008. Article viewed 10302 times.
Rating: 2 |
Add to favorites | Comment on article
Breaking up can be really hard to do, but sometimes it´s just gotta be done. Here are some ideas for breaking up with your girl when the love is gone.
Fake your death - An oldie, but a goodie. Plenty of enterprising young folk have made use of natural or unnatural disasters to fake their deaths.This is a great and easy way to take care of bad debts as well, hey, two birds with one stone.
Fake her death – Do this by faking a death certificate and filing it with your local authorities. Next time she tries to make a transaction at the bank, purchase anything on credit, or tries to take an overseas trip, things are going to get pretty messy.
Hire a sky writer – It´s classier than a txt message, less cold than an email, people will praise you for your originality, and there is no way that she won´t get the message.
Go Gay - Sure, you might have to have sex with a man, but it´s always good to try new things. You are breaking up with one source of sex after all, it might be good to have a back up.
Get with her mom – Nothing turns a girl off more than imagining her mom having sex. Let her catch you sleeping with her mom, and it´s almost certain she´ll never want to have sex with you again. Worst case scenario, she likes the idea and you end up having a way kinky threesome.
Get with her best friend – Once again, natural girl territorialness will mean that sleeping with her best friend is likely to end your relationship. This move can backfire however, especially if you picked the pretty friend to go out with in the first place.
Gain 200 pounds – Being fat is a great way to turn off a girl, and gaining weight means that you can eat as much as you like, drink plenty of beer, and sit around all day playing video games. The only downside of this plan is that once she´s gotten sick of you and left you for someone else, you´re still a fat slob.
Turn her in to homeland security – Report her for terrorist activites. Say you´ve noticed that she always carries around a cell phone and a bag that she´s always leaving various places. Tell them about the time that she totally gassed you out when you were in bed, and report your suspicions that she may be developing dangerous bioweapons in the region of her ass.
Frame her for a crime – If the homeland security thing doesn´t work out, then trick her by placing a knife in her hand whilst she´s sleeping, and pouring pig´s blood over the bed. Leave enough gas in her car for her to get to Mexico. More than likely she´ll wake up, assume she´s done something terrible, and make a run for the border before you can say adios baby.
Fake amnesia – Pretend to have gotten into a terrible accident, and get your mates to play along with the story too. Act as if you have no idea who she is, and as if the idea of ever having been with her disgusts you. A fun twist to this idea is to feign sudden onset tourettes. This allows you to curse her out with vile names, which means you get the easy breakup, and don´t loose the fun abusive fight that comes with the nastier break ups.
 |
Rate this article
1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6
|
 |
|
