Signs Your Girlfriend Is A Prostitute
Article by Hope Alexander
January 23 2008. Article viewed 10983 times.
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The line between prostitute and girlfriend can often be quite thin. On the surface the two are worlds apart, one being a girl you pay to sleep with, and the other being a girl you sleep with but pay on a quarterly installment plan otherwise known as Valentine´s Day, Christmas, Birthday, and Anniversary. Quite a few men aren´t entirely sure whether they have a girlfriend or a call girl, but are too afraid to ask. Here are a few tips to help you tell the difference.
Your girlfriend might be a hooker if:
She´ll let you put it where the other girls won´t, but inexplicably refuses to kiss you.
After she stays the night, a guy wearing a fedora and an ass load of gold chains comes to the door demanding to know where she is. Phrases like “bust yo ass” and “on yo`corner bitch” are rife.
Her collection of condoms rivals that of an Amsterdam sex shop.
She can put a condom on not with her mouth, but with her toes, ass, knees, any body part you desire.
She doesn´t blink when you mention your Princess Leia spanking fantasy, but she does tell you that will be ´extra´.
She favors animal print clothing, short skirts, and big hair, but stares blankly at you when you mention you love the 80´s too.
Whenever you park anywhere, her head immediately dips down to your crotch.
Every time you pick her up from work, she insists on making you roll down the window and chat with her first.
She goes into battle mode whenever she sees porn stars (porn stars and hookers are natural enemies, like ninjas and pirates, but sluttier.)
Every time you call her, her ´roommate´ tells you she´ll have to get back to you because she´s on another job.
She´s great on a drunken night out when you´re trying to tell the taxi driver how to get home, because she knows every corner in town.
She has a special way of tipping the pizza delivery guy that means you always get free desserts.
When you´re out on a date, married men out with their wives catch sight of her, flush with embarrassment, and then studiously refrain from looking in your direction for the rest of the evening.
You still have no idea where she lives, and she doesn´t like to come to your house, so most of the time you end up out in alleyways, in parking lots, and in partially wooded areas.
You checked in her purse once and it all it contained contained was a tazer, pepper spray, condoms and lubricant.
She always seems to get restless after sex, and quite often goes on a nice stroll through the streets.
Her name is Candy, Heaven, Crystal, Destiny, Cherry, Misty, or Angel (be warned, some of these names may give a false positive, due to the fact that they are also what is known in the business as ´Stripper names.´)
She has a great deal of male friends named John.
You catch her talking to her girlfriends about tricks, but you´ve never seen her do any magic at all.
In spite of the fact that you´re over 40, paunchy, and balding, and she is in her early twenties, slim and voluptuous, she always acts as if sex with you is the most exciting thing in the world.
You´re paying for her clothes, her rent, her food, and anything else she wants. This is the most confusing sign for many men, as they may be doing this for a spouse or legitimate girlfriend. It´s pretty simple to tell the difference though - a hooker will still be sleeping with you when you want it.
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