Lindsay Steals Boyfriends, Coats, Your Heart
Article by Hope Alexander
May 07 2008. Article viewed 1041 times.
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Below is a picture of a very drunk looking Joel Madden being hit on by Lindsay Lohan in a lumberjack´s shirt. The only way to explain this is that several of Hollywood´s most horny were caught in some kind of glitch in the space time continuum, were transported to the Canadian woodlands for a brief spell, and then reappeared randomly in bars trying to mate with one another, kind of like that episode of Star Trek, but with more venereal disease.
In addition to apparently attempting to make off with Joel Madden´s sperm, Lindsay is also in trouble for stealing a coast from a student, and then being photographed wearing it the same night. According to the owner of the coat, she left it in a coat bin at a club that Lindsay was attending, but it had gone when she went to retrieve it. Several days later she was reading OK! Magazine and saw pictures of Lindsay wearing her coat. Snapped!
Poor Lindsay, it´s really hard to be a stealthy clothing thief when you´re constantly being followed by men with cameras. Lindsay did return the coat after lawyers got involved, but is now being asked to pay $10,000 in damages, because, hey, it´s America and the girl who she allegedly stole the coat off is now emotionally traumatized.
It looks bad for Lindsay, but with any luck these pictures of her in a cute little blue dress with plenty of boob showing should be enough to gain forgiveness and the hearts of the nation.
  
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