Cyber Sex Vs Real Sex
Article by Rachael Emmitt
June 10 2007. Article viewed 12477 times.
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Let´s face it: cyber sex is a variant on masturbation. Now I´m not knocking masturbation, as Woody Allen once said "masturbation is sex with someone I love." But it´s worth calling a spade a spade. Cyber sex is however a little more perverse than masturbation, because it is a pretense that you´re having sex with someone else, so it´s a mutual masturbation. Now live and in person that could be quite interesting,usually as a kind of foreplay to get you going, if that´s your thing. But on-line, you don´t have any idea if you´re actually sharing those precious moments with the person you think. All too often, I have no doubt, you think you´re doing it with some cute thing of the gender of your preference where you´re actually helping get some bald fatso off. The real downside however is for kids who may think they´re experimenting and taking that one step forward sexually with another kid of their age, where they´re really just allowing themselves to be
used by some genuine pervert. Another thing genuinely wrong with cyber sex is that it has an insidious way of alienating us from each other. If you get too used to it, real sex can become intimidating, frustrating, and corrupted by fantasies that can never be matched in real life. It provokes loneliness in the end, and I understand it can be addictive, and any addiction is a problem.
Now real sex has its downsides too, of course, with diseases and confused partners who can soon make you feel like Michael Douglas in "Fatal Attraction". But all in all, in this writer´s view, a little love, a little sweetness and some genuine affection go a long way toward making real sex the hands down winner, provided you know that you´re not doing it with a certified nutcase or STD carrier. But if you actually spend time with people, come to truly like them, be attracted to them, know who they are, what they (really) look like, how they talk, what you have in common or not with them, and find yourself in that fantastic place where you can feel the attraction growing, there is no way on earth that cyber sex can match that. The charge of anticipation, of finding that moment to bring it up, the fear of rejection and the rush that accompanies that moment when both of you start playing around with each other, that discovery of another erson´s body, and the tingling, stimulating power that comes from
having someone touch you in ways you weren´t expecting are all hands down so much more pleasurable than anything your fantasy world could concoct.
Real sex is just that: real. And in this day and age with so many people so detached from real life, so irresponsible to other people, so glued to their computers and so unaware of what is really going on in the world, making an effort to learn what makes other people tick, and what turns them on, is more than just useful, it´s critical in my opinion.
The mature people who use cyber sex to get off tend to be quite screwed up. The kids who do it tend to be scared of real life. For a guy, it inhibits his ability to learn how to make real women attracted to him, and for a girl (I think girls do this less by the way, and half the time you think you´re getting off with a girl it´s probably a guy!) it´s probably generated by fear, but horniness. So I´d advise those girls who do this to get over this fear, and learn how to seduce those guys who might really interest her. So get out there boys and girls, and do something really fresh and exciting: talk to real people and see if you can find someone who wants to play, live and in person!
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