Eight Steps To More Sex
Article by Hope Alexander
July 05 2008. Article viewed 9249 times.
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Want to bang some hot chicks? Yeah, who doesnīt. Life is basically just one long game in which you can score points by penetrating the orifices of women. Sort of like a reverse whack a mole game. Unfortunately, this game is made a great deal harder by women who insist on trying to find love and commitment, not realizing the joys of promiscuous sex until after theyīre married and their husbands have turned to Internet porn to satiate their sexual drives.
Never fear though chaps, there are ways to make yourself more sexually attractive to the opposite sex and increasing your total score. Firstly you must realize that, from a womanīs perspective, a manīs level of attractiveness isnīt just based on looks or money, itīs also largely based on his achievements. Being little more than walking incubators for the next generation, women love to know that their mate is carrying some stellar DNA they can mix up with their eggs and create a baby sandwich with. Fortunately, in much the same way you can fool her reproductive drive by using a condom, you can also trick women into thinking that youīre much more special than you really are by doing one or more of the following things.
Become A World Leader
Women love world leaders. Thereīs nothing like a politician to get a womanīs libido going, especially an evil one. You may end up swinging from a rope or painting the inside of a bunker with your brain matter, but youīre sure to get some great pussy before that happens.
Set A Record
Run faster, jump higher, throw a solid object further, or stick more clothes pegs on your face than any other man in the history of the world ever. Women love men who achieve things, even if the achievement isnīt all that great objectively speaking. Bonus points can be accrued by winning something televised.
Take Up An Extreme Sport
Bungee jump, sky dive, base jump, heli ski, go over waterfalls in a barrel, climb Mt Everest in nothing but a pair of speedos. Women love men of adventure, and nothing is likely to get a woman in your bed faster than revealing that youīre the sort of idiot who is likely to allow her to cash in the life insurance early.
Become A Weekend Mercenary
Women love men who arenīt afraid to walk the thin line between life and death. Capitalize on the sex appeal of being a murderer for hire, earn a little extra pocket money, and have some interesting stories to tell at the office on Monday by becoming a mercenary on the weekends.
Become A Magician
If killing people for money isnīt your speed, maybe you could dress up like a complete wanker and stare broodingly about the place whilst performing card tricks. Women love magicians, probably because magicians make things look bigger than they actually are. Is that a wand in your pocket, or... you get the idea.
Get Married
By becoming unavailable, you increase your attractiveness several fold. Married men are often pursued by beautiful young women who allow them to sleep with them repeatedly in exchange for a few trinkets and a house in Malibu.
Turn Gay
Working on the same principle as the marriage principle, becoming gay will also increase your attractiveness to the female sex. You will appear smarter, wittier, more cultured, and better dressed just by being gay. When the time comes you can let a lucky lady (or several lucky ladies) īconvertī you from being gay, thus boosting their ego and your sex life in one stroke.
Buy A Puppy
Preferably something small with a smooshed up face. Women are biologically unable to resist small puppies, and taking one out with you when you go for a stroll will ensure that you are surrounded by cooing women from the moment you leave your front door, to the moment you put the puppy down. If youīre careful, you can entice several women back home and into your bedroom before theyīve even realized they left the park.
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